Monday, December 06, 2004

Immutable Laws of the Universe, Part One.

Even if you give your annual income to the public radio or television station, the pledge drive will not stop. The announcers will not say, "Whoa, hold everything now, we just got a contribution from Mr. James Lyden, and we now resume your regularly scheduled programming."

On the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, there will be a TV report from the airport.
On the first snowfall of the season a reporter will be outside.
On the Friday after Thanksgiving, there will be a reporter at the mall.
On April 15, there will be a reporter at the Post Office.

Nothing said in any of the above examples will be remembered by anyone by the time of your next meal.

The food on the airplane is lousy, the seats are cramped, the service is desultory-just as it would be at anyplace else you paid the cheapest price possible. If you hate it so much, there's always Greyhound. I rest my case.

Why yes, the stand-up comedian does know some Lorena Bobbitt jokes, and we're all so glad you asked.

No one has never responded with anything other than "Sure" to the question "you got a second?" and not been thought of as an arrogant prick, if only for a moment.