Enough is enough!

Many of you just might possibly have heard of the slogan, "What Happens Here, Stays Here." What you may not know from not living here is that it's been reappropriated by pretty much every business in town. Including:

Hooters, selling T-shirts with the slogan on the back.

Cheetahs, a strip club undergoing an interesting ownership struggle, has billboards with "What happens in Vegas Happens at Cheetahs." (Someone with a snide sense of humor could add, ...and can cause lots of trouble in San Diego."

The Palms, running billboards saying, "What happens at the Palms...never happened." (Does this apply to Mrs. Federline's first wedding?)

It's also on pretty much on every T-shirt for sale. As a local, I've yet to come up with an effective response. Such as:

"What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas, and We're Hoping Your Cash Does the Same."
"What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas, but Expedian and TRW are EVERYWHERE."
"What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas, Except for Whatever That Street Hooker Gave You."

There's also a larger number of stupid people in the valley than ever before, particularly those who are all upset because some of the billboards in town are-get this-sexually suggestive.

NO!

Apparently when they read all the magazine articles about the New Las Vegas, they were told that the old Las Vegas was kept in a hermetically sealed dome, and its inhabitants entertained the masses and kept taxes low while the rest of us whiled away the hours in Sandville Paradise.

The Hard Rock Hotel had billboards that said, "We Sell Used Dice." The dice were held up at a very precise angle in front of a topless woman's nipples. They had another one that ran during the rodeo, "Get Ready To Buck All Night." A group called American Mothers Incorporated, which presumably just heard about Las Vegas two months ago, was all upset.

Look. You better learn how to explain it to your kids, because that's the town. I grew up next door to Lyons, and drove past scores of topless bars on my way to my grandmothers. Maybe in my mind it's just part of the landscape. To assume that this place is family-friendly is to ignore the 95% of cities in America that are friendlier.

If it really bothers you that much, there's a couple solutions. They're called "15" and "95." Your house has probably appreciated enough in the past year that you could easily afford to live somewhere else, and there's probably not a cash register in town that isn't giving you change untouched by those eeeevil casinos.

Begone.